These days, there are far more demands placed upon us and our time. From the workplace, to the home, children, family commitments, finding time for the gym plus the endless phone calls and sms messages we receive. Let’s not forget our multitude of techno commitments such as Facebook, Twitter, pinterest, blogs, vlogs and with the introduction of smart phones, this means we are connected to our friends, family, colleagues and the worldwide web 24/7!
So how do we find the time to fulfil all these commitments & stay healthy, vitalised and full of energy? It’s simple, you can’t. This is where a 2 year old’s favourite word comes in: ‘No!’ It’s a powerful little word whether you are on the giving or receiving end. As a child no was used as a form of discipline, and as parent, this becomes part of our language too. Either way it is generally associated with negativity and discomfort. So why it is so hard as an adult to speak this word?
There are many times when I have said yes when I really wanted to say no. This ultimately led to being stuck in unhappy situations. Have you ever experienced that uncomfortable, sharp pang of guilt when you have chosen to look out for number 1 and say ‘No’? I have always been an independent child/teen/woman and always willing and able to lend a helping hand where I can. For a long time I fell into the always ‘giving’ category, forever working at finding the right balance between giving & receiving with others. The first time I stood in my power and uttered that word, the feeling was wonderful and empowering to say the least. So much better than feeling obliged and going along with something with a negative attitude and being hard on myself for saying yes when I know I should have said no.
Learning to say no is a gift. So why is it that one can feel so guilty about setting healthy boundaries? Perhaps you were programmed from an early age to always please others. I know a lot of us feel obliged to say yes through fear of letting somebody down or hurting their feelings.
You may cringe the first couple of times you get the courage up to say no. Often times, your ego will rear it’s ugly head and have you concerned about how you may be perceived by your friends, family and colleagues after saying no or ‘letting them down’. The good news is, it gets easier with practice. In time, I guarantee you that you will learn how to say no with grace and ease.
The benefits of saying no:
– It helps better your time management
– It will help you honour your values
– Decreased stress
– Enables you to live your authentic self
– It frees you to better serve with love and joy when you are called upon
So take care of yourself and use your gift of discernment. If you have had a mental week, are stretched for time, have prior commitments or just need some time out for yourself and the situation arises where you have a choice, don’t feel bad for saying no or declining an offer to recharge your batteries. Life goes on.
With love, light & laughter,